You know you’ve been in China a long time when…

1. You stare at Western folks and wonder what the heck they are doing here.

2. You think Chinese wine (Great Wall Vineyard) is really tasty.

3. You are grateful to the smog for eliminating the risk of sunburn.

4. You are happy that your new bike is rusting because now it blends in.

5. You prefer to drink your water piping hot.

6. You haggle over the last 5 mao (1/2 of 1 RMB) and are shocked to pay over 10 RMB for any one thing.

7. You just can’t understand how the New York Times can have such a liberal/anti-China slant.

8. You don’t have the foggiest idea when Easter weekend is and that is just fine.

9. You serve the chocolate cake with the main courses and you decide that chopsticks are definitely better suited than cutlery for carrots and green beans.

10. You decide to jump to the head of the bakery line and believe that you have done it politely because you didn’t elbow the 65-year old woman you cut-off.

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